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Time:06:15 am
hi everyone I'm new =D
add me if you like
xxxxx
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Subject:hi i'm new
Time:08:33 pm
Current Mood:crappycrappy
hey everyone,

i just want you all to know that i know how you feel, i have been obsessing about my body since i was little. i have always been small but i always found some imperfection about me that i didnt like. being surrounded by a thin media it makes me even more upset that i dont look like that ..

i used to be 90-95 pounds now i am 140-145 my family and friends have noticed to and they keep asking me if i am pregnant and calling me chunky and daily i get reminders that i need to lose weight or that my fat is hanging out 

though my boyfriend says that i am beautiful he still jokes about my weight by calling me fatass or some remark about my weight gain. deep down i feel that he wants me to look like i used to. i feel really uncomfortable in my own skin. i have battled with eating disorders before and i fear that i am heading back in that direction. everyday i hear at least one thing about my weight..

i am sick of it and i want to be back to were i was before. i miss feeling confident....

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Subject:New plea
Time:03:20 pm
New plea.

Dear all,

Firstly, I would like to thank you all for the fantastic support you have offered after my last post asking for photographic models. I received messages from people offering support, willing to have their photo taken or those wishing to fill in a questionnaire. I couldn’t have expected a better response and I hope I come across as genuine when I explain how grateful I am. That gratitude is also extended to all the moderators who kindly left my posts up for people to read. Thank you.
Your support on my last project has inspired me to push my creativity further and extend the self-harm project that I began over two years ago.
This time I am hoping other people might be willing to get involved as I am opening the 'requirements' up to include many more heath issues.
Although I have not yet written my Artist statement, I am hoping to make the most of my 4/5-month holiday by getting a head start on next term’s project.
The project I worked on for my first year of my BA(Hons) Photography, at Anglia Ruskin University, was surrounding the subject Self Injury/Harm. My initial plan was to put together a book of shots of young men and women who use self-harm. I had always planned to put these, headless, images in a book. However after much deliberation I decided to hand in a miniature version of the images, kept in a box for presentation and to save the book idea for my second year.
I now have another 8 or 9 months to put together a comprehensive collection of images that not only cover the issue of self harm, but also bring in other issues that may trigger self harm or are produced as a secondary to self harm (although I realize this is very different for everyone). I intend to create images that contain men and women, of all ages, colour or sexuality, who have had or who currently are experiencing issues with, self harm, anorexia/bulimia/EDNOS, depression, binge eating, disassociation, sexual abuse/rape survivors, participation in S&M, transgender/ transexuality, scaring from incidence etc. Essentially I am hoping to capture many aspects of mental health with a specific look at how mental health affects you physically and how you feel about your body.
As part of this work, I would like to follow 3 or 4 people through treatment. This could be in-patient or out patient, mental health related treatment or physical health. For ease, it would be great if the participating people lived near Cambridge or around the south of the country, however, I would be willing to travel if needed.
The idea of lots of people modeling once, representing their own lives and stories, means I can share very small insights into a mind set or situations. However, by having the chance to follow 3 or 4 (or more if possible) people through one part of their lives, documenting the details of their stories, I have the opportunity to show people a much deeper look into life with impairments.
I hope that the work is tasteful, that it never glorifies SI or any other issues that may be raised, yet at the same time offer people who don’t understand a chance to see how it affects people. That is where your help comes in!
I may be able to explain my own relationship with self-harm and mental/physical health, I may even be able to give statistics, but unless many people get to share their stories.. We can’t expect people to just get it.
Just like last time, I am looking for people from anywhere in the UK, 
any age (as long as your over 16 with parental consent or over 18), and either sex. I would be willing to help out with travel costs to my home and you would be more than welcome to stay at my house with a friend of yours.
This time the compassion of the images will be slightly different, but you will always have the last word on what you are happy to do.
The models I have used so far are my close friends, people who I love and would always want to protect, as well as the wonderful people who nominated them selves. I would never exploit anyone and I will include text in the book that describes just how grateful I am for the models co-operation. All models will need to sign a model release form.
I am telling you all about the book and my hopes for the future as I would like to ask if anyone would want to take part? I want to show all aspects of self-harm and mental health issues, not just scars or tears or meds. There is so much more to it. The smiles you have to put on for those around you, the depression you feel, the guilt, the eating distress, the arguments with loved ones, I want to try and communicate that too.
I am hoping to get moving as soon as possible, so if you have some free time over the summer and fancy a trip to Cambridge, please e-mail and we can work something out!
Feel free to contact me, Indigo.Clouds.Imagery[@]Gmail[.]com
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Current Music:KoRn
Current Location:Desk
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Subject:Just a word....
Time:03:21 pm
Current Mood:determined

Hi, im a recovering anorexic and Id just like to say that  I hate being steryotpyed into a group of anorexics cause people think I want to be thin. Im here to prove that you dont need to want to want to be thin to be anorexic.

My weightloss began 2 years ago when I had people constant;y calling me fat. I stoped eating and I never lost weight and it really made me feel like shit. I didnt want to be thin but something in my mind stopped me from eating.

Then, as I was getting better, at the begining of the year, I was diagnosed with anyfylaxis (if thats how you spell it) and My options for food where decresed substancialy with my alergies to all tyoes of nuts, lactose and preservatives. I got worse, up to a point where my mum kept me home from school so she knew I was eating something.

 

I went through a period of being promiscus (if thats how you spell it) and I gained a reputation of a slut which did not help my self essteem. Then, in the last week of the holidays, I cheated on my  boyfriend and we broke up. I regret it to this very day.

I started to hurt myself, ripping out my hair, brusing myself and cutting my body. I needed to get rid of the pain by inflicting it on myself or someone else.  I will never forgive myself for what I did.

I have now realised how stupid I was and how many other people are like me and need help. But sometimes you just dont want help, yoiu wnat to get through it on your own. I did and now im on the mend, but I always think to myself "why bother? you did those bad things and nothing will change you" but now I have changed and I dont lie, I dont steal or cheat. 

This is just to say, not all those who self inflict wounds are showoffs, wannabe models or are in a group usualy known as EMO.

FREEDOM TO FEEL

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Subject:Pro-ED
Time:03:58 am
Name: Virgina [but everyone calls me Vee]
Age: 21
Height: 5'0"
Cw: 158
Lw:113
Hw: 165
STG: 135
LTG: 105
BMI: 30.9

I am trying to get back on the wagon. My shrink gave me pills to make me lose weight, and starting tomorrow I will once again try to be thin. I am so disgusting right now I want to break every mirror I pass.

Please add me! I need as much support as I can get right now.
- Vee
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Subject:Self harm image book.
Time:05:05 pm
Hey, my name is Jo. I am 24 and I live in Cambridge UK

I'm doing a fine arts degree, BA(Hons) Photography, at Anglia Ruskin University. I'm in my first year but I have worked as a photographer previously.

For my major project this year I am studying self harm. Its something I have worked with before and personal experience of.

I hope that the work is tasteful, that it never glorifies SI, yet at the same time offers people who dont understand it a chance to see how it affects people.

I decided that I didnt simply want the photos up on a wall as they were too private. So I am putting together a book. It wont be published, I will only make a handful of copys. It will be A4/5 size and each page will have 2 or 3 images on. Along with that will be a very small amount of text that's either commentory from me, statistics or quotes taken from the small questionair I have asked my models to fill in.

The models I have used so far are my close friends, people who I love and would always want to protect. I would never exploit anyone and I will include text in the book that describes just how greatful I am for the models co-operation.

I am telling you all about the book as I would like to ask if anyone would like to take part? I want to show all aspects of self harm, not just scars or tears. There is so much more to it. The smiles you have to put on for thoes arond you, the depression you feel, the guilt, the eating distress, the arguments with loved ones, I want to try and communicate that too.

I wonder how you might feel about helping me acheve that?

Models will need to be over 16 and have permission from parents if under 18. You will need to live in the UK and be avaliable for a photoshoot as soon as possiable. Models are not paid but I can help with traveling costs, offer you and a friend food/a bed for the night and you will have an opertunity to buy a copy of the book when finished if you would like.

I am needing people as quick as possiable as the project needs to finish in the next 4/5 weeks and some models backed out. That said, if you do offer, you will be under no pressure to do anything you are uncomfortable with. Even if that means you getting here and changing your mind. If you are interested I can show you some images I already have to see what you think. Feel free to pass this on to friends you think may be interested.

I hope this post isnt inapropreate, feel free to remove it. x-posted to other self harm communities.

You can leave messages here or you can e mail me at GumChewingFreak[@]Gmail[.]com

Thank you for reading, have a safe day xx xx
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Subject:Introduction(Anti Eating disorders)
Time:03:04 pm
My name is Aella, I'm 23 and trying to louse weight. I'm 5'4" and weigh 180. My bust measurement is 43.5", waist is 33.5" and hips(widest part) is 44.5". I exersize 3 times a week (30-60min cardio, 20-30min strength training at a comunity gym). I know my biggest problem in looseing weight is food. I have a tendency to eat really we'll for sevral days then binge on crap. On the days I eat crap I feel like shit and feel much worse about myself than on the days I eat we'll. I was wondering if anyone had any tips on stopping the binge days.
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Subject:calories intake and calories burned
Time:01:12 am
can anyone reccommend a website / forum that has a calorie counter? Like you can enter in the food you wat, add up the calories and then you can enter how many calories you burned to give you the total number of calories you have for the day?

I want to subscribe to a really good website that does this. Please let me know if you know of aomething like this. Thanks!
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Subject:How Art Made The World PBS
Time:06:12 pm
Hi, I'm a new member. And I thought this was somewhat relevant...

How Art Made The World

More Human Than Human
Pictures of the human body fill our TV screens, magazines, billboards, almost our every waking moment. Through the ages artists have been obsessed with the human form. The range of bodies they have created is breathtaking, but yet they share one thing in common... none of these images resembles a real human being.

So why is our modern world dominated by images of the body that are unrealistic?

Neuroscientists theorize this has something to do with the workings of the human brain, and point to a neurological principle known as the peak shift. In essence our brain is hard-wired to focus upon parts of objects with pleasing associations. So if you were an artist, the tendency would be to reproduce human figures with parts that mattered the most to you.

Prehistoric artists were clearly caught up in peak shift tendencies, creating exaggerated statues like the famed Venus of Willendorf. For their part, the Egyptians perfected a more stylized, order-obsessed human figure, only to have the Greeks break out and create fantastically heroic — but totally unrealistic — images like the Riace Bronzes.

So why then are we moderns constantly inundated by unrealistic images of the body?

In reality, we humans don't really like reality - we prefer exaggerated, more human than human, images of the body. This is a shared biological instinct that appears to link us inexorably with our ancient ancestors. -More Human Than Human


Venus of Willendorf: Exagerated BeautyCollapse )


Egypt Obsessive OrderCollapse )


Ancient Greece Naked PerfectionCollapse )

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A little about my personal stance for the future....

I'm Pro:
Body health over body image
Health
Justifiable/rational self esteem
Understanding self and self worth
Exploring body and psychological happiness
Active lifestyle
Proper/nutritious diet (ie habitual eating)

I'm Anti:
Body image/size advocacy
Body Size acceptance
ED, BDD, and other psychological disorders
Body image before body health
Sedentary lifestyle
Dieting
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Subject:Supplements
Time:11:23 am
Do any of you know any good supplements that will boost my energy, speed up my metabolism, and in a result help me loose weight without being moody or caffeine crazed?

What supplements did you try and how did you react to them? Which ones do you reccommend?

I've taken:

Trimspa - it worked, but it made me light headed and a little nauseous sometimes because it was too strong for me.

Extreme trim - something like that; this one boosts my energy but can make me hungry or look for food to feel leveled. Normally after I work out I get a headache or feel dizzy.


Your comments and suggestions will be greatly appreciated!
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Time:10:37 pm
Hey all... I've also been looking for some thinspo. Not into throwing up or fasting, I just want to get rid of 15-20lbs, and this is finally the time. I find that reading pro-ana journals really helps, probably because I'm "not as bad as that..." I'm 5'3" and like 135, so getting to 120 or 115 is a very realistic goal. I'm eating 3 healthy meals a day, and have completely cut out snacking (unless it's fruit or veggies) and I'm not eating after dinner. I like to drink red wine a lot though ;). Hope to make some diet friends. I've been going about a week and I feel good. I'm also drinking about 3-5 cups of green tea a day, and I'm taking 2 apple cider vinegar pills with each meal. I try to get out to walk or run when the weather's good, plus lots of situps!! Good luck everyone!!
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Subject:new
Time:11:02 pm
hey everyone. ive been scanning livejournal for about a week now looking at different communities like this one, and this has to be one of my favorites. youre not all crazy intense eating disorders, but you still know where im coming from. my predicament is that i really do wanna lose weight, maybe enough so i can actually see my hip bones. but i like my curves, and my boyfriend likes my ass, so i dont want to lose any of that. oh, my stats might help:

height- 5'6"
CW- 160 : (
HW- 170
GW1- 140
GW2- 130

so i pretty much just need help losing those first 20 lbs, ill be miserable until i do.
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Current Music:"Slow Currents" - Dashboard Confessional
Current Location:So-Cal
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Subject:....
Time:03:21 pm
Current Mood:blahblah
I've noticed that people havent updated on here in a while... I just happened to stumble across this LJ and was like "yay!" so, I thought I'd post about me a bit.

Name: Melissa
Age: 19
Height: 5'5
Weight: 165 lbs *sticks fingers down throat*
Ideal Weight: 120-125 lbs

So, Mia and I have been friends for about a year now, It totally runs my life and I dont care - my friends/family that know about it are like "get better, blah blah" and I cant and dont want too. I've never had a boyfriend, (another one of the reasons MIA and I are such great friends - I'm ugly-hence no boyfriend) and the one guy that I trusted and really fell hard for screwed me over -he's kinda what started me with Mia, and over the past few months its gotten worse, I binge maybe twice a day, and purge 4 or 5, I'm on Diet Pills that curb my appetite and they are amazing! I work out when I can, but school and work totally have my bogged down which is a good thing. And having to payfor stuff on my own I look at it as more "I worked my ass off all summer for this money, I dont feel like blowing it on stuff that I'm going to throw up anyway", so... thats me, I was super excited this morning, I was able to fit into a pair of Hollister jeans that I've had in my closet for years and couldnt get into, so, that gave me a bit of a boost - not much. I have the first day of one of my class for this semester tonight, we'll see how I feel when I get out of there, I may end up tossing up the water and few sips of juice I had earlier today, I'm kind of feeling a bit heavy... For now.. thats all. I gotta go get ready for class.
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Time:03:14 am
Current Mood:enviousenvious
i went to the gym today with my mom
we still need to get id's but w/e
first i fan on the tredmil for 15 m in then the eliptical for about 10 after that i ran the track upstairs and started exploring the other machines. my m om and i met this woman who showed us how to work a few things. she was pretty nice and reminded me of a friends mom.
we stayed there for about 2 hours.
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Time:12:35 am
Name: April
Height: 5'3
CW: 105
HW: 132
LW: 98
STGW: 100
LTGW: 94

I'm just curious... Does anyone else chew and spit? I just started doing it less than a week ago, but haven't stopped since I started. (Before that I would binge without purging and felt awful. That's how I gained the weight from my low weight in two weeks.) I've been binging every day but spitting it all out. I know I'm still absorbing a decent amount of calories, but I don't know how much. I figure it can't be worse than binging and purging.

I'm just wondering if anyone else does it or has done it before because I feel like I'm the only one in any of the communities I'm in.

I really want to stop binging. I'm making tomorrow a binge-free/spit-free day. I haven't had one of those since Saturday. And I haven't lost any weight either (at least I haven't gained).
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